Was that a windy pop, or perhaps you heard a duck call? With farting being one of the world’s most popular and enjoyable activities it’s no surprise that it's developed a whole host of descriptive terms suitable for any social occasion.
Here, Professor Guffington shares selected notes from his extensive archives to bring you a dictionary of fart.
“A fart by any other name smells just as sweet.” William Shakespeare
Air biscuit / buffet: A misty brown snack for the nostrils. Bottom: An essential part of the fart factory. The bottom hole. Bottom burp: The expulsion of gas from the bottom rather than the mouth. Bottom gas: The fumes expelled or that leak from the bottom hole. Break wind: A polite term for the act of dropping an air biscuit. Brown cloud: A cloud of farty goodness. Bubble bath: The production of delightful bubbles of stink when bathing. Bum (bum hole): A mostly British name for the bottom.
Drop one: The failure to hold in a brown cloud. Duck call: A short fart reminiscent of a duck quacking. Fart: The discharge of gas through the bottom hole. Flatulence: Medical name for the act of farting. Usage: “Before we continue with important affairs of state I must just say that that was a very impressive bout of flatulence, Your Majesty.” Flatus: Medical name for bottom gas. Fluff: Something a polite lady does instead of a fart.
Gas: The physical state of a fart before it lands on your hair and clothes. Guff: An alternative (mainly British) name for a fart. Let one rip: Really let one out loud and proud, often with a knee held in the air. Message from the interior: Morning thunder:  A long, loud and rumbling fart or series of farts to welcome a new day.
An audible fart. Usage: “I’m sorry Mr President, but as you've just heard I’ve had a message from the interior and want to share it with you.”
Nose Burner: A sharp smelling guff that assaults the senses. Pass gas: The act of passing gas from the inside to the outside where it can be enjoyed by friends and family. Passing wind: The release of a freshly made friend. See pass gas. Pump: (British) A polite term for a fart that can be used in respectful company. Quilt lifter: A fart so powerful it lifts the quilt. A fart to be really proud of. Raspberry (blowing a raspberry):
(British) A descriptive term for a ripping pump. Usage: "Mr D'Arcy much admired Emily's ability to blow a raspberry using her armpit."
Silent but deadly (SBD): Silent but violent (SBV): Step on a duck: To emit a short sharp “quack” from the bottom. Step on a frog:   Similar to stepping on a duck, but resulting in a “ribbit” sound. Stink:   Often combined with other words, e.g. “Sorry, that was quite a bottom stink.   Shall we continue our dance lesson now?” Stinker:   A bottom burp that you can almost chew on.
A silent fart that on reaching its victims can result in death, or at least those affected finding death preferable.
Not as bad as an SBD, but can still cause victims to change color, gasp for air and flail their arms about in panic.
Toilet noise: A term a princess might use to explain a sound she's just made. Tooting: A series of small farts that can signal someone’s presence. Usage: “I knew my grandmother was on her way because I could hear her tooting long before she entered the room.” Trouser cough: (British) A cough from the bottom. Trumpet:  (UK: trouser trumpet) A popular instrument played solo or in groups.
Voice of the toothless one: Wind: A sudden change of weather between the bum cheeks. Windy pop: A short, sharp burst from the bum that amazes and delights.
Words from the bottom. Usage: "The night was silent, except for the voice of the toothless one which was loud, clear and urgent.”
“Two things are infinite: the universe and farting; and I’m not sure about the universe.” Albert Einstein
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Dictionary
Dictionary
Was that a windy pop, or perhaps you heard a duck call? With farting being one of the world’s most popular and enjoyable activities it’s no surprise that it's developed a whole host of descriptive terms suitable for any social occasion.
Here, Professor Guffington shares selected notes from his extensive archives to bring you a dictionary of fart.
Air biscuit: A misty brown snack for the nostrils. Bottom: An essential part of the fart factory. Bottom burp: The expulsion of gas from the bottom hole. Bottom gas: The fumes expelled or that leak from the bottom. Break wind: A polite term for the act of dropping an air biscuit. Brown cloud: A cloud of farty goodness. Bubble bath: Delightful bubbles of stink when bathing. Bum (bum hole):  A mostly British name for the bottom.
Gas: The physical state of a fart. Guff: An alternative (mainly British) name for a fart. Let one rip: Really let one out loud and proud. Message from the interior: Morning thunder:  A long, loud and rumbling fart or series of       farts to welcome a new day.
An audible fart. Usage: “I’m sorry Mr President, but as you've just heard I’ve had a message from the interior and want to share it with you.”
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Drop one: The failure to hold in a brown cloud. Duck call: A short fart reminiscent of a duck quacking. Fart: The discharge of gas through the bottom hole. Flatulence: Medical name for the act of farting. Flatus: Another medical name for bottom gas. Fluff: Something a polite lady does instead of a fart.
Nose Burner: A sharp smelling guff that assaults the senses. Pass gas: The act of passing gas from the inside to the outside where it can be enjoyed by friends. Passing wind: The release of a freshly made friend. Pump: (British) A polite term for a fart. Quilt lifter: A fart so powerful it lifts the quilt. Raspberry (blowing a raspberry):
(British) A descriptive term for a ripping pump. Usage: "Mr D'Arcy much admired Emily's ability to blow a raspberry using her armpit."
Silent but deadly (SBD): Silent but violent (SBV): Step on a duck: To emit a short sharp “quack” from the bottom. Step on a frog:   Similar to stepping on a duck, but resulting   in a “ribbit” sound. Stink:   Often combined with other words, e.g. “Sorry,   that was quite a bottom stink. Shall we   continue our dance lesson now?” Stinker:   A bottom burp that you can almost chew on.
A silent fart that on reaching its victims can result in death.
Not as bad as an SBD, but can still cause victims to change color.
Toilet noise: A term a princess might use to explain a fart. Tooting: A series of small farts that can signal someone’s presence. Usage: “I knew my grandmother was on her way because I could hear her tooting long before she entered the room.” Trouser cough: (British) A cough from the bottom. Trumpet:  (UK: trouser trumpet) A popular instrument  played solo or in groups.
Voice of the toothless one: Wind: A sudden change of weather between the bum cheeks. Windy pop: A short, sharp burst from the bum that amazes and delights.
Words from the bottom. Usage: "The night was silent, except for the voice of the toothless one which was loud, clear and urgent.”